Sorry it has been a while since I last posted, but quite honestly I have been in a battle with my mind. Just going to come right out of gate being honest and transparent. I don't know about you, but the enemy can really get a hold of me in my thought process to the point I get totally overwhelmed and end up in a pit! That has been my life for the last few weeks. I've stayed in the word, continued to pray and seek the Lord, but still just seemed to slide right back into my black hole of self doubt and self condemnation. I know the scripture, I know what I am supposed to do, I understand I need to "take captive my thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. 2Corinthians 10:5". Believe me when I say I have tried really hard to do all of those things. I have had moments of victory then I do things like pass a mirror, and see how much weight I've gained and I go to the, "I need more self control pit". Or my kids start to argue and I think I must not be doing this mom thing very well and I go to the, "I'm a crappy mom pit". Or my hubby makes a comment to me, and I totally take it the wrong way so I go to the, "I'm not good enough for him pit". Or the house is a mess and I go to the, "I am an awful stay at home mom pit". Or the grocery bill was really high so I go to the, " I should be a better money manager and frugal wife pit". Or I have a friend who needed me, and I couldn't be there for them so I go to the, "I'm an awful friend pit". I feel a lot like the eecard I posted. My list of things I need to improve on is really long, and I could totally bore you with my areas of self doubt. As the list increases in my mind my self worth and ability for God to use me shrinks, and I become stifled with fear and worry. At this point I would rather go back to bed so I can turn my mind off. I'm not telling you all of this so that you will feel sorry for me, but because I think you might just relate to me in some way. As women our tendencies to make things greater in our minds is really quite common. Our mind is our greatest battle field most days and we must learn how to change that and win the battle. Our thoughts of how we are compared to others, or feeling defeated because we don't feel like we are doing well in an area is rampant. So, hopefully what I am about to tell you will help you too! In the midst of feeling overwhelmed with how to make changes to stay out of my pits; the Holy Spirit so sweetly took me to one simple scripture that has started to free me and will for sure rock my world. John 3:30 "He must increase but I must decrease." It's not about the changes I can make, but the changes He can make in me if I'm willing to back off and let Him increase. I'm not trying to take the easy way out, in fact this will be a life changing, forever process. It is a process of sanctification and of becoming more like Jesus. I'm believing God will walk with me and show me how to do this in every area of my life in a way that won't overwhelm me, but bring me into a deeper relationship with Him. So for now all I can do is pray, listen, and make the changes He shows me to make. The following is my prayer to the Lord, and I will continue to pray this every morning before I begin my day. I'm encouraging you to pray it with me and add whatever areas you need to the list. I believe God will answer our prayers in a mighty way, and we will see a movement of women taking back our minds and making them obedient to Christ. Can you even imagine what our marriages, our families, our friendships would look like if we learn what it really means for God to increase in our lives and in our minds. What it will look like when we believe what Christ says about us, and stop believing the lies the enemy throws at us. I'm getting excited just thinking about how our lives could be transformed by the power of God increasing and us being willing to decrease.
PRAYER:
Dear Lord, I desperately want you to increase in my life!
Increase in my thoughts.
Increase in my marriage.
Increase in my family.
Increase in my friendships.
Increase in my heart.
Increase in my talk.
Increase in my emotions.
Increase in my decisions.
Increase in my time.
Increase in my attitude.
Increase in my love for you!
And may the desires of my mind, heart, and flesh decrease so you can increase in me. Walk with me and by the power of the Holy Spirit teach me how to do this today! In the MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS, AMEN!!
