A Battle of the Mind!

Sorry it has been a while since I last posted, but quite honestly I have been in a battle with my mind.  Just going to come right out of gate being honest and transparent. I don't know about you, but the enemy can really get a hold of me in my thought process to the point I get totally overwhelmed and end up in a pit!  That has been my life for the last few weeks.  I've stayed in the word, continued to pray and seek the Lord, but still just seemed to slide right back into my black hole of self doubt and self condemnation.  I know the scripture, I know what I am supposed to do, I understand I need to "take captive my thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. 2Corinthians 10:5".  Believe me when I say I have tried really hard to do all of those things. I have had moments of victory then I do things like pass a mirror, and see how much weight I've gained and I go to the, "I need more self control pit". Or my kids start to argue and I think I must not be doing this mom thing very well and I go to the, "I'm a crappy mom pit". Or my hubby makes a comment to me, and I totally take it the wrong way so I go to the, "I'm not good enough for him pit". Or the house is a mess and I go to the, "I am an awful stay at home mom pit". Or the grocery bill was really high so I go to the, " I should be a better money manager and frugal wife pit". Or I have a friend who needed me, and I couldn't be there for them so I go to the, "I'm an awful friend pit". I feel a lot like the eecard I posted.  My list of things I need to improve on is really long, and I could totally bore you with my areas of self doubt. As the list increases in my mind my self worth and ability for God to use me shrinks, and I become stifled with fear and worry. At this point I would rather go back to bed so I can turn my mind off. I'm not telling you all of this so that you will feel sorry for me, but because I think you might just relate to me in some way. As women our tendencies to make things greater in our minds is really quite common. Our mind is our greatest battle field most days and we must learn how to change that and win the battle. Our thoughts of how we are compared to others, or feeling defeated because we don't feel like we are doing well in an area is rampant. So, hopefully what I am about to tell you will help you too! In the midst of feeling overwhelmed with how to make changes to stay out of my pits; the Holy Spirit so sweetly took me to one simple scripture that has started to free me and will for sure rock my world. John 3:30 "He must increase but I must decrease." It's not about the changes I can make, but the changes He can make in me if I'm willing to back off and let Him increase. I'm not trying to take the easy way out, in fact this will be a life changing, forever process. It is a process of sanctification and of becoming more like Jesus. I'm believing God will walk with me and show me how to do this in every area of my life in a way that won't overwhelm me, but bring me into a deeper relationship with Him. So for now all I can do is pray, listen, and make the changes He shows me to make. The following is my prayer to the Lord, and I will continue to pray this every morning before I begin my day. I'm encouraging you to pray it with me and add whatever areas you need to the list. I believe God will answer our prayers in a mighty way, and we will see a movement of women taking back our minds and making them obedient to Christ. Can you even imagine what our marriages, our families, our friendships would look like if we learn what it really means for God to increase in our lives and in our minds. What it will look like when we believe what Christ says about us, and stop believing the lies the enemy throws at us. I'm getting excited just thinking about how our lives could be transformed by the power of God increasing and us being willing to decrease.
PRAYER:
Dear Lord, I desperately want you to increase in my life!
Increase in my thoughts.
Increase in my marriage.
Increase in my family.
Increase in my friendships.
Increase in my heart.
Increase in my talk.
Increase in my emotions.
Increase in my decisions.
Increase in my time.
Increase in my attitude.
Increase in my love for you!
And may the desires of my mind, heart, and flesh decrease so you can increase in me. Walk with me and by the power of the Holy Spirit teach me how to do this today! In the MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS, AMEN!!

Bless this Mess!

Have you ever just made a mess out of something? I sure have, more than a few times! Sometimes it's an accident, sometimes (maybe most times) it's my own stubborn, sinful fault. A while back, I stepped on and crushed one of my son's LEGO creations. It was something he had made all on his own, not from one of those prepackaged kits. I knew how much thought and planning had gone into it and I felt terrible. I was apologizing over and over as I picked up each piece, trying so hard to fit it here or there and recreate what I had destroyed. In the middle of this, he simply took the pieces from my hand and said ever so sweetly, "It's okay, Mama. I'll fix it. It was my creation so I'm the only one who knows how it is supposed to go." He was right. I could work all day but without instructions or guidance, it would never be what its original creator intended. How true is this of our relationship with our creator?  What do we do when something in our life gets "crushed" either by our own actions, or the actions of someone else?  Do we turn to our instruction book, God's Holy Word, left to guide us each step of the way?  Do we hit our knees in prayer...OR do we try and fix it ourselves?  Wonder why we think we can?  We have these broken piles all around us, and we sit, stifled almost among them, overwhelmed at what piece goes where or how to even get started.  Maybe it's our finances in a mess, or our marriage, or a friendship. Maybe it's our relationship with the Lord, neglected and broken. We try picking up the pieces and start rebuilding, only to make a bigger mess. Or sometimes we actually end up making something pretty cool looking, only to find it crumbling again under any pressure. We can also be found using those pieces to build a wall around ourselves, shutting the rest of the world out, closing ourselves off from any more hurt...or help.  Oh how I've been there!  The good news is that we don't have to do it ourselves! Our Creator, our Saviour, our Lord, is willing to take all of those pieces from us, and ever so sweetly say, "Give those to me child, I've got this. I thought you up and made you wonderful, so I know how you "go." I'll fix this for you, if you'll only let me."  Don't try and do it alone anymore.  Give it to God.  He wants your mess, and He can make something BEAUTIFUL out of it!

Thank you Lord, for a message through my child and his toys.  Thank you Lord, that you are willing to forgive, and forget, and still be there to help me put my messes back together...as only you can...time after time, after time. Amen and amen!

Psalm 121:2  My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

 

A divine appointment!

A little over a year ago I had the privilege of meeting a very special lady named Ms. Jettie.  A lady who's personality can light up a room.  A lady I had heard a lot about from my best friend, Pam. It was shortly before this meeting that I had become friends with Pam. We had an instant connection, and a friendship that could of only been formed by God. It is a "soul sister" type of bond, and something that can best be described as a blessing. This friendship grew as we walked at the park near my house. We would share life stories as we walked countless miles around the track getting to know each other. (Wow, this is making me ready for Springtime and walks at the park!!) One of the many things that always stuck out to me in our chatting was Pam's love for her family. Family is very important to me also, so that was an instant bond that we shared.  Several of the stories she would tell involved her mother, and the many adventures they would go on as she was growing up. The bond that they share is one that is very familiar to me because I share a similar one with my mother. As the conversations went on, my desire to meet Pam's mother began to grow. On the way back from town one day we decided to stop by and see Ms. Jettie. As we walked into her room I was immediately moved by what a special connection my sweet friend and her mother share. Ms. Jettie's face lit up as soon as she saw Pam enter the room. I watched the way Pam would lean in close to talk to her mother. As she did she would rub her arm and give her a big sweet smile! I could see how much they love each other, and it made me love my friend even more! It was at that moment that I noticed something that God would use to teach me a great lesson. A lesson I will try to share with you today, and a lesson God still reminds me of quite often. 
I guess you could say God had a divine appointment for me that day!! Sitting next to Ms. Jettie in her wheelchair was a worn out hymnal. I asked Pam about it, and she told me that her mother kept it with her all the time. This hymnal is something that brings her great joy!! I learned that this preachers wife loves to sing, and she began to sing to me a song I had never heard before..."How beautiful Heaven Must Be" is the song she sang with a sparkle in her eye and a sweet smile on her face. I was moved to tears by the words of that song, but mostly by the woman singing it. It was like she was shining God's light, the same light the song mentions. The words to the song rang true to me that day, "In heaven no drooping nor pining, no wishing for elsewhere to be; God's light is forever there shining, How beautiful heaven must be." I could picture heaven as she sang, and it made me long for it! It was one of those moments that will forever be a sweet memory for me and my friend! When the song was finished Pam showed me that the hymnal had been donated by two members from First Baptist Church Alabaster. Small world because this is the church my husband and several of my friends grew up in. The couple who donated the hymnal are very close to our family still to this day. I spent the rest of that day thinking about that hymnal, and crying every time I pictured her singing me that song. I was amazed by how much joy that hymnal brings to Ms. Jettie. How it has become one of her most treasured possessions. How this gift helps her to worship her Heavenly Father she loves. Also, how Ms. Jettie uses this hymnal to touch the lives of those around her. I am sure when the couple donated this hymnal they had no idea what an impact it would have on her day to day life, and how God would use it to impact others, to impact me!

 I learned that day the power of a simple gift. No matter what we have to give, big or small, God can use it. He's just waiting on us to be willing to give it. You see, so many days I get stuck on the fact that God can't use me for one reason or another.  That I've got to change some things, fix some things, or be willing to let go of some things before God can use the  gifts I have. That my gift might not be accepted, or good enough. Nothing is farther from the truth!!  God is just asking for a willing heart and mind.  2Corinthians 8:12 says, "For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have." God has already equipped us with the gifts, talents, and other things we need to fulfill the purpose He has for us. God wants to use you and I to touch someones life for eternity, or to simply bring a little light into a dark day. To stop focusing on what we don't have. I  also believe Ms. Jettie understands the power of a simple gift. That sweet song she sang for me was all she had to give me that day. It was a gift that God used to touch my heart, make me long for heaven, and teach me how to better serve Him. She taught me to give what I have, no matter how small I think it might be. To use what God has given me to touch the lives of people that are standing in front of me. It was a life changing gift, and one I will be forever be grateful for. Just like I'm sure Ms. Jettie is forever grateful for her simple gift, the hymnal. 

I call shotgun!

Wow, who knew that sitting next to me in the front seat of the car was such a honor?! I'm flattered! In fact, if you don't mind for a moment, I think I'll just stay here, in my own world and keep pretending that it really is all about me. A world where mama is a little boy's best friend forever and ever no matter how much growing older tries to threaten that.  Sigh.  Okay, that was nice.  Now, what was I saying?  Oh yes, I was talking about how energetic my two older boys are about "shotgun." I would love to keep believing that I'm the center of this eagerness, however, we all know that the real reason is...as painful as this is to admit...it's not me at all...it's the radio. Yep, the truth is my boys fight for the front seat so that they can control the radio.  Why is the radio so important, so worth the wrestling match, so worth causing mama to have to scream speak loudly? They both like the same music. They both hate the same music. They are going to listen to the same thing no matter who's turning the dial. My theory? It all comes back to one thing....control.  I would love to say here that I have no part of this in their DNA, but that would just be a straight up lie, and we've made a promise to be real here. So here's my real, but with a small condition. Please don't tell my husband that I'm admitting this, haha. Oh, or that I've admitted a negative trait passed down to my children could have possibly come from me. We all good? *Wink.* Okay, so here it goes. Hello, my name is Pam, and I am a control freak. If things around me get, or even feel like they are getting, out of control, I get nervous. I don't like to feel weak, or vunerable. I like things orderly, clean and the way I like them.  Don't believe me...just ask my husband. Wait, no, don't ask him, he knows nothing about this conversation, right?! :) While there are some positive traits to this type personality, (generally organized, on task, etc.,) the point I want to make here is this. How hard is it for us to let God be in control? Do you get that same sweaty, hard to breathe feeling that I get sometimes at the thought of being completely dependant upon someone else? Why is it so hard? Why do we think we know better for ourselves than the one that created us? Why am I sometimes convinced that I can plan my life better than God Almighty himself.
Proverbs 16:3 says this... "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."
Ouch. Okay, Lord...I hear you and I want to be obedient.  I want to allow you to guide me, even into the unknown, and even though being without "my" plan scares me to death.  I haven't figured out my "word" yet for 2013 (see Kim's post) but I have figured out this much...my phrase (and more importantly my prayer) will be something along the lines of the words of an old hymn..."Take my life, lead me Lord...make my life useful to thee." Will you join me?

Change, One Word at a Time

 I've never been a crafty girl. Even as a child I hated crafts! I would like to love them, but just don't have the patience to complete a craft. Patience...another post for another day, haha. The only craft I remember enjoying was a plaque I made at VBS. We took this cream colored paper with the verse Proverbs 3:5-6, and burned the edges of it to make it look old. Then we applied it to a piece of stained wood, and put some type of sealer on it. I probably remember it because of being scared I would burn my finger or burn too much of the paper. Fear is always a good memory booster, lol! My Mom hung the plaque in the hall bathroom where it still hangs to this day. Growing up I memorized the scripture on that plaque, as did many of my childhood friends. In fact it was one of the few scriptures I memorized as a child.  I always said it was my favorite (since I had it memorized, convenient). It was something I said that I lived by, but my heart never fully understood what that "trust" word meant. Fast forward to today, January 12, 2013. A new year, a new opportunity to start over, make changes, make resolutions. Can I tell you a secret...all of that stresses me out!! The change, the opportunity, the pressure of it all. I have many changes I need to make:

 Be more patient, experience more joy, eat more healthy, workout more, give more, manage my time better, spend less, save more, organize my house, organize my closet, organize my papers, organize my entire life, teach my kids to be more responsible, dig deeper with God, memorize more scripture, have more quality time with friends, join the circus (just kidding, trying not lose you in the long list, lol!), volunteer more, be a better mom, wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, blah, blah, blah, blab, blab. Now I'm about to watch Miss. America...my list could get longer, haha. 
The list could go on and my stress level could bust through the roof! Can you relate to any of this? We all have areas that need improvement, that we should change, but something about January magnifies all of it in my mind. It magnifies my false need for perfection...something God never expects. I seem to forget that God's love for me isn't measured by the things I have tried to make "perfect" in my life, or the things I do "right". My list of things to change ends up making me feel defeated, and I give up before the end of January 1st. So, the result is no change at all, same life, same issues, same fear, same cycle. Today I was reading a blog called "One Word". You can find it at www.onlyabreath.com. She talks about taking one word and making it your word to live by for the year. WOW, that is brilliant! That seems attainable. This is a goal that doesn't send me to the kitchen eating cake.:) Stress eater...another post for another day, ha. Almost immediately I thought of the plaque hanging in my mothers bathroom. I realized that I still don't fully understand that "trust" word, nor do I live it out in my daily walk. I actually don't really trust people either (never would've thunk it, another revelation for the day, ha). So, my goal for 2013 is to learn what the word trust really means and live it out in my life. I'm sure in the process it will help me accomplish changing some of the other things that stress me out. May I learn to really "trust the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge Him and let Him direct my path." I'll keep you posted on what I learn. Do you really trust God with your everyday stuff? What would your one word be? Let's stop expecting perfection and accept God's love for us just as we are, burnt edges and all! Then we can walk by faith, trusting God to make us more like him a little at a time, one word at a time!
Learning to trust Him more,
              Kim

Welcome To Our Blog

Welcome to our first blog post! I must admit that I am very intimidated by the entire blogging process, and really have no clue what I'm doing, ha. I'm scared to death of a list of things that would stretch a mile long! Being prone to magnify my weaknesses in my mind; makes this step of faith a constant battle. Instead, I will try to focus on my prayer that you will see inside our hearts, and we can all find evidence of God's work. Not to boast about ourselves, but to be humbly grateful for all HE can do through us if we are willing to trust Him! I have to keep believing my life verse, Ephesians 3:20. To believe by faith that "God can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to HIS POWER that is at work within us." To God be all the glory! Pam and I believe that God has called us to start this blog so that we can reach out to women, encourage one another, be honest in our struggles, and open with our hearts. Our prayer is that we will always glorify God in our post and become more like Him. We also hope to have tons of fun in the process!:) We have no other motivation than to simply submit to what God has called us to do together. We pray that you will join us on our journey. A journey I am sure will be filled with laughter and tears, mountains and valleys. Whatever the day may bring or words may say, one thing is certain, God is our guide! We look forward to growing in our knowledge and love for Jesus, and what better way to do it than together..."Better Together"!! Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Trusting Him, Kim